Hurting to show them you are hurting

I have met many people who inflict injury to themselves … I myself have done it years ago… but why? I have met many people who ask ‘why’ and do not understand. In this article I will not deal with the psychological side of things, as there are others that will do much better on it, but I’d like to look partially at the spiritual side of it.

Have you ever been angry enough to feel like hitting the wall or a door? Have you ever been faced with actions of stupidity that almost hurt? Have you ever wished you could turn an emotional hurt into a physical, because that would be more bearable? Have you ever visited a doctor, physiotherapist, biokineticist … just once more than necessary, just because the attention felt good? Or as a child, have you ever hurt your arm…and it did hurt… but a bandage or sling wouldn’t have been necessary for you – but somehow it felt good?

Well… that is basically the same thing… it comes of the same origin. Though most self inflicted injury has an addictive potential and is much worse, the idea… the need behind it is the same.

It is attention seeking. When hurting emotionally, we feel the need to be noticed… the need for someone to notice our hurting inside. Most people would go and consult a friend (up to the point of throwing a pity party) or talk to a partner. Sadly not everyone has someone in their lives that will understand…so they turn to other means, for their need is real and it feels like it is slowly killing them. For even if a doctor won’t attest their hurting emotionally in most cases, at least he will acknowledge and listen. For even if a wound, self – inflicted, isn’t pretty … it will cause people to ask and be interested in how YOU feel.

But what does God say about it? What is HIS answer to this situation?  In the Old Testament, the Bible tells us of cults in which people cut themselves as part of their cult rituals. And it states clearly that God despises this behaviour. Other Bible verses confirm that a person may hurt but still smile as to hide their true feelings and that people cut themselves during a time of mourning.

But perhaps the question isn’t so much why God despises it (for most people would rather stop it sooner than later, if they found their need met and the addiction to fade), but rather, what does God offer to prevent, heal and stop it.

God never wanted you to feel alone in such a way that your only way out is to be noticed by people using all and any means! He loves you! He had His son, Jesus Christ suffer on your behalf to give you healing – even of this! He promises to be with you even in your darkest moments of despair!

Consult in HIM. Turn to Him with your need. Draw near to Him. Call out to Him… for He will hear you and answer you and He alone can heal your heart and fill it with His unconditional love and peace and joy.

Many people inflicting injury to themselves have been doing so for very long. If that is you, I advise you to seek professional help (there are Christian counsellors and Christian psychologists, who will help you from both: medical and spiritual side). But trust in GOD… He is the answer and the source of healing! It may require you to break away from friends with the same habit and problem… it might require you more will power than you expected… but there IS deliverance and healing.

May God be with you on this path! Be it understanding and praying for those that are affected or being affected yourself.  May HE guide you and bless you! Remember, the answer lies in Jesus! 

 

 

The Promise Game

I don’t really know if there is a name for this…to me it is the Promise Game. It is for moments of despair, moments when you feel tired and worn-out, moments of grief, moments of solitude and loneliness, moments when you feel like giving up AND moments when you need to encourage someone else.

It practices faith and helps to focus on the truly essential:  Jesus Christ, the centre and axis of our lives, the solution to our challenges and problems. And takes focus of the “me” … and the “problem or cause”. It prevents a pity party. I promise…it will help within minutes, if played correctly.

What do you need? A fellow Christian… via Facebook, Twitter, Chat, Skype, … or in person.

How does it work: Simple. DON’T talk about your problem. Ask simply if you can play a game, and explain only that you need to regain focus as you are currently highly challenged.

Then you start: Tell the person on the other end a promise God gives them. Then it is their turn to do the same to you.

This routine is maintained until you feel better (because there will be more promises than you will be able to name in one session). You then tell the other person, that you can smile again and feel much better and ask how they are feeling.

CHOOSE NOT TO speak about your problem – even now. Just trust in God. Enjoy the feeling better and thank HIM for it.

May it bless you as much as it blessed me!